I want to be very careful here to criticize, but not to mock, what I assume was a genuine and heartfelt effort by Christian filmmakers to produce a touching and meaningful film. The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry is a “Christian” film, but it would be a stretch to call it Christian entertainment. I’m sorry to say that it fails on almost every level and at almost every turn. Not only does this make it a chore to watch, but its message is so clumsily delivered that it just might turn away more people than it attracts.
The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry is an independent film written and directed by Rich and Dave Christiano, veterans of such faith-based material. It stars Gavin MacLeod as Jonathan Sperry, a kindly and devout widower who befriends and mentors three young teens named Dustin, Mark, and Albert, during the summer of 1970.
And…that’s pretty much it. Not much less happens. There’s little conflict, little resolution. Dialogue, conversations, and indeed, whole scenes are repeated again and again in an amateurish attempt to inflate the running time. Plot threads are left dangling, new plot “twists” (a charitable description, believe me) are thrown in with little thought to effective timing, as if the filmmakers simply resorted to throwing familiar cinematic tropes at the screen in the desperate hope that something might stick.
To be honest, there are three subplots, but they miss their mark just as miserably as everything else. The first deals with Dustin’s crush on a local girl and the group’s machinations on if and how he should make his feelings known. The whole thing is sloppy and it doesn’t have an effective resolution.
You know that lack of connection you feel when you watch a romantic comedy between two very young, very vapid people on screen? You can’t relate and you just don’t care? Okay, well, magnify that feeling a few times and you’ll have an idea of what we’re dealing with here. It’s not sweet, it’s not nostalgic. It’s just awkward, unnecessary, and ill-advised.
The second subplot, concerning the boys’ struggles with a laughably exaggerated bully, is predictable and obvious, and yet, at the same time, highly improbable. The final plot element follows Dustin’s efforts to befriend a reclusive neighbor, played with little imagination by Robert Guillume. Trite as it is, this thread has the best chance to succeed, but it lays undeveloped for much of the film. By the time it finally does go somewhere, you’ll be past the point of caring.
But, as bad as it is, The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry is still better than it could have been. The cinematography is competent, though unimaginative, and the score, composed by Jasper Randall and performed by the Hollywood Orchestra, is surprisingly good, despite a couple of oddly fanciful cues that seem poorly matched to their scenes.
As you might expect, no one here is going to be winning any Oscars for their performance. The acting talent is pretty wooden across the board, with the bully, Nick (Taylor Boggan), and Dustin’s mother (Mary Jean McAdams) gaining the most ignominious attention. Jansen Panettiere, Allen Isaacson, and Frankie Ryan Manriquez are serviceable in their roles as Dustin, Mark, and Albert. No one of them is terribly forced or offensive, but they’re not really convincing either. Panettiere (brother of Heroes star Hayden Panettiere – you can tell because if you shaved their heads, they would be indistinguishable) can sprout some pretty serious tears on cue, so I guess that’s something.
On the whole, though, it’s hard to buy them in the mold of typical teenage boys. No child (or adult for that matter) is so consistently good, faithful, or well-mannered. In crafting them as such flawless Christian examples, the script swallows up any sense of reality.
Further separating the film from the last vestiges of verisimilitude, the producers present Sperry’s growing friendship with the boys - including his slightly uncomfortable attempts to lure them into his house with cake and ice cream – without question or even a sense of irony. In the real world, if an older man, living alone, tries to wile your kids with cookies and lemonade, and watches from the window as your son mows the lawn – well, that guy may not be completely on the level. It’s not to say that his motives may not be innocent, or even virtuous (as Sperry’s clearly are), but the boys’ parents in the film never manage to muster a sense of justified and protective suspicion.
I realize that I’ve been really harsh. Part of me feels like I’ve kicked a sick puppy or purposely dynamited the next section of track in front of “the little engine that could”. There’s another part, though, that feels a real sense of frustration and anger when I think about this film.
I’m a Christian, but I’ve never understood the need for “Christian” entertainment. Bits of truth and valuable lessons can be found in any number of films. A movie doesn’t have to be as neatly packaged as a Sunday School workbook to touch our hearts. Please understand – I’m not talking about relativism here or saying that overtly Christian material in a film is inherently wrong - I’m just arguing that many films have redeeming value and spiritual significance, even if they set out to entertain instead of evangelize.
And, let’s face it – most Christian “entertainment” is poorly produced and boring. There’s a reason these films don’t gain much respect or an audience. Often, they are but a poor facsimile – a well-meaning, but paradoxically, cynical attempt to adapt something that works in a mainstream film and co-opt it for religious use.
The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry isn’t any different. The dialogue, the themes, the events, the camera work – literally everything in this film has been done before (and, it almost goes without saying – done better). There is nothing new or original; ironically no spark or breath of life to be found. It’s obvious that the Christiano brothers have seen a film before, but they don’t seem to understand that simply copying one and reproducing it around a shallow sermon won’t work.
Of course there is no offensive material in The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry, and it does present the gospel of Jesus Christ, but that shouldn’t and, (in my opinion) doesn’t automatically make it appropriate or necessary viewing. For one thing, its presentation of that gospel is rudimentary and incomplete. There’s no talk of living for Christ, or turning from one’s sinful ways – only that knowing Christ will spare one the fires of Hell. This is certainly true, and to be fair one of the boys does turn his life and attitude around, but on the whole, Christ is treated as little more than an insurance policy.
The deeper issue is the film’s presentation. Its dialogue and religious message is delivered with such a saccharine sweetness, such a lack of art and subtlety that it plays right into the hands of our popular culture’s mocking portrayal of Christianity. At best, this movie does our Savior no favors and, in the worst case scenario, the awkward and obvious production may actually push some people away.
If you’re looking for some wholesome family entertainment, you can catch The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry at Tinseltown when it premieres on October 2nd. You’ll find the wholesome bit of the equation - to be sure - but don’t hold your breathe for the entertainment.
Caution Rating: 0
