“They don’t make ‘em like they used to.”
Sadder words have seldom been spoken in the English language. They bring to mind the bittersweet nostalgia of a time when things weren’t just different; they were better.
The current state of affairs makes us wish we had truly appreciated the good old days while we still had them, and the true tragedy is - no matter how badly we may want to - we can never recapture the magic we once failed to fully appreciate.
To my knowledge, no one has ever completely achieved the level of sheer excitement, genuine intrigue, and unabashed fun Alistair MacLean put on display when adaptations of his works, The Guns of Navarone and Where Eagles Dare, graced the silver screen in 1961 and 1968 respectively.
Now I realize I’m waxing rather eloquent over what can best be described as high-flying adventure movies. But the fact remains that, in my opinion, no movie in the past 15 years has come close to capturing the spirit of these great films.
Most modern movies, especially war films, take themselves rather seriously. Now, don’t misunderstand me – I’m not trying to downplay the horrors of war, diminish the service of veterans, or dismiss the effectiveness and relevance of modern war movies. Not at all.
But I do think there is something special about a movie that throws realism to the wind while simultaneously throwing the entire Nazi army at a small band of plucky heroes. Where Eagles Dare and to a lesser extent, The Guns of Navarone are less Saving Private Ryan and much more Mission Impossible.
Of the two, I like Where Eagles Dare better. The question is why, and the answer is simple: Richard Burton.
But I am getting ahead of myself, really.
Our culture allows a bit more imagination when telling stories set during the Second World War - particularly on the European front. There are probably many reasons for this, but perhaps the greatest is that no other war in modern memory presents us with such a clear and utter distinction between good and evil.
Not only were the Nazi ideology and their practices evil – they were occult, unholy. This evil was even reflected in the iconography of the war. The shape of the standard issue German helmet, the Nazi version of the Roman eagle, and, of course, the swastika - they all just scream “Bad Guy!”.
It’s these types of notions that have given us stories of a World War fought with Tesla Coils, living gargoyle dragons, gory monsters, flesh-hungry zombies, and wickedly conjured demons. Often, in our popular consciousness, the Second World War is the greatest ideological struggle against ultimate evil.
Where Eagles Dare was born in this same spirit and perfectly reflects the imagery of a free world taking a desperate stand against the unholy hordes of the gothic Nazi horror.
It stars Richard Burton (for those of you not familiar with his awesomeness, you may know him as Mr. Elizabeth Taylor) as Major Smith, and a young Clint Eastwood as Lieutenant Shaffer of the American Ranger Division. These two are teamed with a group of British secret service agents and tasked with the rescue of a vital American colonel from the clutches of the Gestapo.
The colonel is being held in the Schloss Adler (“The Castle of Eagles”) – a German army headquarters deep in the dark heart of the Bavarian mountains. Dressed in German uniforms, the team is dropped from a stolen German plane and parachutes into the forest near the impenetrable fortress.
To tell you any more would be a disservice. I will say that things don’t go as planned (or do they?).
Fair warning: this is a long movie. So long, in fact, that some VHS copies still feature what I can only assume is the theatrical inclusion of an intermission.
So, yeah, it’s long, but it isn’t slow. The first half of the film is snared with twists and turns and deep intrigue. Don’t leave your brain at the door because you’ll need it.
Where Eagles Dare proves that you don’t need the gadgets of Q-branch to be a brilliant spy. All it takes is a quick wit, a few notebooks, and nerves of British steel. In the end, the plot makes sense – I think. Actually, I’m still trying to sort it all out.
The second half of the film is one really long action sequence. During the last 45 minutes, the movie doesn’t stop to take a breath. We watch as our heroes struggle to escape from the very mouth of the beast with hundreds of elite Nazi soldiers pursuing them all the way.
The action is mostly well executed, but it does seem to get bogged down in the details of the team’s escape, and it ends up sacrificing much of the film’s momentum. It also becomes hard to suspend disbelief when the spies evade millions of machine gun rounds with little more than scrapes and bruises and yet are capable of nailing Nazis from often ludicrous distances with nearly every shot.
Luckily, Richard Burton is awesome in this film. True enough, he does seem to be half asleep most of the time, but that just adds to his sense of cool. Major Smith lets nothing bother him – he is seven steps ahead of everyone and everything else, including automatic gunfire. It doesn’t hurt that Burton gets some of the best lines every committed to the screen.
Ron Goodwin’s hearty score is also a thing of beauty. Goodwin uses snare drums and the inspired choice of Alpine horns to effectively convey the breadth and darkness of the German war machine and the bravery and bravado of the intrepid heroes.
Fun fact: of all of Eastwood’s films, Where Eagles Dare has the highest body count.
That’s actually not quite as bad as it sounds. The movie is violent, but it’s not especially gory. There is some blood, but it has an unrealistic orange tint to it that makes it look more like liquefied Play-Do. There is also some mild language and some sexually suggestive dialogue. But, parents need to know that Smith and Shaffer don’t hesitate to ruthlessly eliminate any soldiers who stand in there way, often killing them in cold blood to remain under the radar.
Where Eagles Dare is blessed with a complete lack of concern for reflecting the realities of war or even the realities of physics. It’s an escapist extravaganza that exists solely to engage its audience in a spectacle of exciting action and clever suspense. Despite what you may have heard, that’s not a bad thing. Not every classic has to be boring, and it’s not a sin to entertain.
Caution Rating: 6.5
