"No one has ever become poor by giving."--Anne Frank
Sometimes it feels like it's getting harder and harder to inspire the gift of giving in children. After all, our society has a tendency to be more "me-oriented" than anything else. What's in it for ME? What did you bring ME? What about ME? It's all about ME!!! So what's a parent to do? How do we instill in our children--and ourselves, for that matter--the importance of giving to others, when we are constantly being bombarded with the message that we should think of ourselves first? (We're worth it, right?!)
Now, I don't think that just because our children express enthusiastic interest over the latest toy or gadget, that they are selfish and spoiled. (My daughter Callie likes to write down all the 1-800 numbers off the commercials that air in between her Saturday morning shows!) The desire for things is not necessarily the problem; it's the constant thinking only of oneself that creates the problem. It is in our nature to be selfish, but it is not in our best interest.
To help generate a love and desire for giving in our three young children, Kevin and I include them as much as possible in our service to others. They have helped us prepare and deliver meals to friends who have just had babies or to new neighbors. They have helped us pick out Christmas gifts to give to children who otherwise might not have received any. They have helped us go shopping for canned goods to donate to a food pantry. They have given up many of their own toys to give to other children (an endeavor, I admit, that makes me particularly happy!).
We also encourage our children to look for ways to give of their own money. They each receive a weekly allowance, and they keep their money in sets of three jars, which are labeled "Saving," "Giving," and "Spending." Even when they do extra chores to earn money, we make sure we give them an amount that is easily divided by three. By doing this from the very start of teaching them about handling money, we have seen that they are learning to do some really great things for others with it. In fact, there are many times when we tell them that we will buy a birthday gift for a friend of theirs, but they really love using their own money to do this!
One of their greatest joys is when Kevin or I take them to the dollar store and let them buy birthday or Christmas presents for each other or for us. Since everything is the same price, they are free to pick out anything in the whole store! This makes them feel really grown-up and responsible, because not only are they using their own money, they are also carefully thinking about each person in their family and what gift would mean the most to him or her. (My gifts usually involve coffee or chocolate. My babies know me well!) They get such joy out of watching us open the specially chosen treasures.
Let me take a moment here to confess that my children don't always feel that "it is more blessed to give than to receive." But that is something every one of us fights, I think. The idea is simply to start early in teaching your children about giving to others, to think outside of themselves. Just like with so many other things, start small and then continue to build on it, and it will become second nature. And let them be creative in their giving! When they see how fun it is to serve others--and especially when it's their own idea--they will be much more involved and much more likely to continue giving and serving as they get older. It will become a lifestyle. A greatly rewarding lifestyle.
Encourage your kids to give of themselves, their time, their money, and their talents. And don't forget that you are a constant example to them.
Ways to Encourage Giving in Your Children:
- Give them an allowance and teach them to set aside an amount to be used for giving to others.
- Go with them to buy some small toys; then go to a children's hospital and hand the toys out to the patients.
- Have them collect some of their own toys and clothing items to be donated to a local charity.
- Take them to a nursing home to visit the residents. They could also sing for them, take them flowers or pictures or cards, or do something such as paint the ladies' fingernails.
- Serve in a soup kitchen together.
- As a family, sponsor a needy child through an organization such as World Vision or Compassion International. Have your children give some of their own money for this; read the updates on the child together; and encourage your children to write letters or send pictures to the sponsored child.
- Challenge them to come up with their own service project and then help them complete it.
- Go to a laundromat together and hand out quarters to the people there.
- Bake cookies together and deliver them to new neighbors to welcome them to the neighborhood.
- Talk to them about thinking of others' needs before their own.
Carrie is a freelance writer from Jackson, MS, who is, along with her husband and three children, still learning about giving. You can read more from Carrie on her blog: www.oncarriesmind.blogspot.com.
